Mommy, Mommy, where have you gone?
Why have you gone away?
I don't know how I'm going to survive
Without you here today.
Mommy, Mommy, please come back
I'm sitting here alone.
Being alone with the Bat and without you
Makes me feel less at home.
Mommy, Mommy, it's been months
And not a day goes by
That I do not hope for you to return
And dry the tears that I cry.
Mommy, Mommy, where are you?
Why have you been gone for so long?
Do you not love me anymore?
Have I done something wrong?
Mommy, Mommy, I'm no longer a slave
Yet I feel not an ounce of joy
For what good is my freedom now
When I'm a motherless little boy?
Mommy, Mommy, you set me free.
The battle has finally been won
But you're not here to take me home.
Am I no longer your son?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is a really great poem, not to sound valuative. I love the rhyme scheme and the stanzas of eight lines each. The thing that got me, though, was that you're writing in Benny's point of view, right? Benny's only two/three, four at the oldest, at the time of Ginnie/Mercer escaping from Pryor. There would be no way he would talk so... proper is the best way to put it. And he would most likely call Pryor's wife something other than the Bat, because he's too young to really understand why she's called anything but her given name. Other than that, though, the poem is very well done.
ReplyDeleteI really like the rhyming scheme of every other line. The repetition of "Mommy, Mommy" in the beginning of every four lines adds a nice touch to seeing things the way Benny would portray it. The questions in the poem also creates a sense of curiosity of a little child. Overall, the poem is very cute and very straight to the point on how you portrayed how Benny felt.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great poem. The rhyming scheme was very good, and I felt like it made the poem move smoothly. The repetition of "Mommy Mommy" at the beginning of each line helps you to see how Benny may sound if he's scared or confused. The poem seems to fit with the storyline and I felt you did a very good job.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is catchy and to the point which is why I think it drew my attenion to it . I like the rhyme it had. Also,the way you expressed Bennys emotions really showed that you were able to put yourself into his postion and express his feelings of not having his mother around . Although the book didn't focus on him , you were able to make the reader get a better understanding of the character.
ReplyDeleteColleen your poem was great. I like how you used repetition and rhyme throughout your poem, it made me as a reader want to keep reading. You really stepped yourself into Benny's character by talking in a child-like way and that was good.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem. It had a great rhyme scheme and a good use of repetition. It showed the sad part of Ginnie's freedom, the loss of her son. It gave Benny's point of view and made me feel really sorry for him and get emotional for him, not being able to see his mother again. It made me realize just how bad slavery was and how it tore even free families apart.
ReplyDeleteI thought the poem was very good! i liked the way you used repetition of "Mommy,Mommy" and thought all the questions in the peom helped highlight the confusion Bennie must be fealling now that he's free. Also the way you ended your poem was great. It ties in to the main conflict of the storie and how Mercer felt like she was abandoning her son.
ReplyDeleteGood job Colly-G this is definitly an A+!!
I agree with most of what each of your classmates have written. I think the repetition was effective in conveying a sense of loss. I wondered about Bennie's voice and whether it matched with how I might imagine him sounding. You set yourself up with a difficult task, that of giving voice to a character who is not physically present in the text.
ReplyDeleteBennie also seems to be older at the close of the poem. I'm wondering what age you imagined him to be in this poem and when in the chronology of the text this moment is located.
this is great!!! i wish i was as smart as you. this shows that you know what you are talking about
ReplyDelete